Panda Porn

Reuters Life! reports of Thai zookeepers who are attempting to spice up the love life of their panda couple with a spot of porn....

Like any newlywed, it seems that since panda Chuang Chuang "tied the knot" two years ago, everyone's been asking when he'll get down to that business of making babies.

His sex life has become media fodder with news that zookeepers have put him on a diet to avoid crushing his partner and he's been forced to watch "panda porn" to make him friskier.

This week, Chuang Chuang has received a new supply of risque videos after being taught how to appreciate them.

"We trained him to see footage and to listen to the sound for 15 minutes a day, and we've shown him the footage for a week now," said Sophon Dumnui, head of the state zoo body that looks after the Chiang Mai zoo in northern Thailand.

Sophon added: "He's learned a little bit, but hasn't yet fully understood. When he heard the sound he showed some interest. We will train him for one more week."

Chuang Chuang and his 'wife' Lin Hui have lived at the Chiang Mai zoo since 2003 and were officially "married" two years ago.

Neither has shown an interest in consummating their marriage. In December, zookeepers separated them in the hope that absence might make the loins grow fonder.

While I am incredibly aware of the dwindling panda population and the fact that every avenue must be explored, I'm just not sure that porn is going to help the poor Chuang Chuang. While most young men and women who use porn do so in the company of a partner or on their own, there's something slightly seedy about doing it in a cage with zoologists watching that would make a stiffy the last thing on your mind...unless of course, you're a panda with some serious fantasies!

Before you discount that possibility as far-stretched, a woman's fantasy which was quite similar features in Nancy Friday's My Secret Garden...although she chose a silverback for company! Perhaps she could hook up with Chuang Chuang!