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Paraphila is an umbrella term used to cover the family of philias. In sexology, it is sometimes more widely used to cover atypical sexual interests or deviances. While the word paraphilia may seem alien, the philias it encompasses may seem slightly familiar. Think fetishes and unusual desires and you're on the right track!

Tuesday, 13 March 2007

Just remember, Girls Who Smoke Poke

Ah, the words of motherly wisdom from Lois in Family Guy certainly struck a chord with me.

Lois reminded me of an MSN conversation I had a couple years ago regarding the joys of girls who enjoyed a big fat one between their lips. After years of living in denial of my smoking and assuring partners and lovers that I would 'give it up', I was chatting to a man, who we'll call Pete for the sake of anonymity, who not only supported my addiction - but encouraged it.

He fantasised about pleasuring a woman while she nonchalantly smoked a Virginia Slim from a holder. Seeing a cigarrette perched between a woman's lips, he said, was the most arousing thing in the world. Further into the conversation, he insisted that should we meet (ah, bless the optimist in him). He added, there would need to be continual smoking throughout the encounter.

Well, I'm a pack a day smoker and am more than aware of the dangers of smoking. Realising my lung capacity just couldn't fulfil his needs, like any good reporter, I made my excuses and left.

Historically, smoking was a man's domain until the early 20th century. BBC's documentary Century of the Self detailed how Freudian research was utilised in advertising for many products - from cars to cigarrettes. It really is 'must see' viewing but that's another blog entirely. Anyhow, there was mention of a group of women's rights marchers being told to brandish cigarrettes to assert themselves.

Among women tobacco sales increased and they soon became a symbol for glamour, independence and sexual attractiveness and it still are to some extent, despite concerns over health issues.

Perhaps in recent years issues surrounding health have made nicotine taboo once again. Women like Monica Lewinsky brought the issue of tobacco as a sexual aid to the world's attention during the Clinton Administration.

While magazines like Cigar Aficianado saw a surge in interest in the late 1990's, specialist magazines such as Smoke Signals were created - specifically targetting those with a passion for the phallic fag. The internet is no stranger to this fetish with many sites devoted to films, images and stories of smokin' girls.

SmokingLog, the self-proclaimed 'first and last smoking fetish links', posts up images regularly of women alight with passion in more ways than one. SmokingLog writes of one girl: "When this guy saw his friend lighting one of her extra long slim cigarette wearing nothing but a bra and panties, his smoking fetish basically made him uncover one of her breasts and start licking her nipple while she was smoking! Fortunately for him, she really liked that and was also getting horny"

There are many variations of this fetish from those who desire virgin smokers, cigars or cigarillos. However, for many the buzz is found when watching a woman (or man) stylishly manipulate a cigarette. Aesthetics are everything for the smoking fetishist and many find erotic heights in watching a girl master a complicated act such as a "French" inhale.

In 2005, Rachel Kramer Bussel wrote about a variety of fetishes, including smoking, in the Village Voice. Of smoking aficianados, she writes: "their fetish simply is. It's probably been there since an early age. For many, women who smoke are elegant and mature; smoking also conveys a "fuck you" attitude."

Interviewing Mike Williams, the editor of Smoke Signals magazine, she quotes him as saying that most smoking fetishists "find smoking women more relaxed, mature, and socially competent."

Perhaps we need to look at this fetish more simply. The attraction isn't quite so difficult to understand if we look to Freud for some (phallic) guidance. Just imagine a woman's cheeks sucking in that last drag off a cigarette. Kind of similar to fellatio, isn't it?

Oh, what simple beings us mortals are....
POST SCRIPT: Do you have a smoke fetish? Would you like to share your passion for women skilled at manipulating a Virginia Slim or do you adore smoke play? Email me at karenc1972@hotmail.co.uk.

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