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Paraphila is an umbrella term used to cover the family of philias. In sexology, it is sometimes more widely used to cover atypical sexual interests or deviances. While the word paraphilia may seem alien, the philias it encompasses may seem slightly familiar. Think fetishes and unusual desires and you're on the right track!

Tuesday, 20 March 2007

The Bumper-Humper!

Chatting with a friends last night, the topic turned to sex al fresco. While it's not quite the right weather for sex on a beach, it's a warming thought, now, isn't it? Conversation moved onto one of those wine-induced discussions of the most unusual place for engaging in a bit of nookie. While I raised a few eyebrows with my responses, mentioning that I never had sex in a car left them speechless. Yes, I confess, my names is Karen and I am a car virgin!

Amomaxia, or sex in parked cars, is frequently practised. UK newspaper The Sun reports that half the UK population like to sizzle in the driver's seat. It is so popular that there's even a version of the Kama Sutra on the net specifically for cars...illustrated, of course!

Perhaps it's the throttle or even the phallic shape, but for some speed isn't the only thrill to be had from all that horsepower. Years ago, an ex relayed tales of a previous girlfriend's excitement in cars - whether it was to pop my car cherry I will never know - but apparently, she loved nothing better than to pleasure herself in the passenger seat as the spedometer cruised at 100mph. Of course, in a low-lying convertible, she also had an exhibitionist buzz from lorry drivers watching her.

There's much more fun to be had from cars than merely having sex in them. On the bonnet too would be nice! Sexual activities, such as dogging or carping, require cars not only for transportation to remote spots, but as places which to exhibit and demonstrate your arousal.

However, I wouldn't really call any of this a fetish and certainly not a paraphilia - it's all a bit too vanilla and 'date at the drive-in' for that. But, I must confess that my mind wandered down its sordid path - wondering just how deep the phallic car's attraction goes.

Earlier this month, The Sun reported of mechanic Chris who gives new meaning to a man who loves cars. He claims to have had sex with more than 30 different models in 20 years, plus two motorboats and a pal’s jetski.

Chris, who lives in the West Country, explained his passion: “A nice car for me is a feast for the senses. It’s about smells, feelings and tastes. If I see a gorgeous Mercedes I know I’d love to jump into bed with it.”

The mechanic, who allows visitors to his garage to video him enjoying a muffler shuffle while pleasuring themselves, has owned a string of cars including a black 2.5litre Jaguar X-Type with cream leather upholstery.

The mechanic adds: “It’s all about imagination and creativity. There’s more to car love than exhaust pipes. Stroking the body panels and delicate touching makes excellent foreplay.”

On his website, Chris explains “auto-eroticism” and has even written a manual called "How To Make Love To A Car". Advice includes: "The tailpipe isn't the only option! If it interests you, get hold of a silicon sleeve from Clone Zone or some other tool to make life easier on your tool" and "Roleplay involving the car is another spice. Needless to say solo roleplay requires vivid imagination and the ability to suspend rational thought." So, the car pretends it's dead? Sorry...still got necrophilia haunting me from yesterday!

The mechanic isn't alone in what he calls his 'auto-eroticism'. Other manuals are available on the internet, such as Dekhyr Dragon's definitive "Guide to Sex with Cars (for males)". Dekhyr's top tip? Although, I'm a novice to all this car sex, it has to be: " Never fuck a car hot. I did, once. Once."

So, am I sold on cars and ready to pop that cherry? Erm, no... Maybe it was seeing too much Kitt in the 80's or perhaps even the BJ scene in The World According to Garp but cars, sex and me just don't mix!

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